Desk-gate and other stresses

It has a name now: desk-gate.

My manager came up with it after I had a hissy fit last week about the shit that comes with running the desk rota (stupid, huh?) and that I wasn’t going to do it anymore.

That has now become a massive thing made bigger by something else that has gone on in parallel.

It may be best to tell in a list:

Monday evening: send an email to my manager saying I wanted to hand over the desk rota to someone else

Tuesday: have conversation with manager explaining what had happened (see previous post) but I told him I was told it by someone who overheard it as a conversation, not reading it as an IM. Then:

  • Manager speaks to one of them in kitchen about it, other one overhears.
  • Overhearing one apparently IMs ‘mean girl’ saying what she overheard and they describe my manager as ‘ranting’ & ‘flapping’, talk about how someone else in the team is moaning about the desk situation and say that the head of our team blocks things that should be escalated.
  • This conversation is sent to my manager and the head of team and all hell breaks loose.
  • Overhearing girl is most apologetic about everything, mean girl is not, moaning woman is mad at them both for bringing her into it and she is still yet to pass probation, my manager is annoyed about ‘ranting’ & ‘flapping’ comments and head of team is pissed about blocking comment and may take it to HR.
  • Wow!

Since then I have been getting some updates from my manager who tells me that mean girl is under the impression that I have put in a formal complaint about her – nope, and that moaning woman had kicked up a fuss about something and that is why I have refused to keep doing the rota – nope.

The new girl in the team (my last role’s replacement) has now brought up that mean girl has on a few occasions, loudly, complained about the desks and not knowing when she has one (even though I email it all out once a week and there is a print out on the wall next to the desks…) and moaned about me running the system (well I would have handed over to someone else but we were waiting for the new system you are supposed to implement!!!), so new girl has had to write that up as some sort of evidence in this whole matter.

I have also been told that there is a ‘perception’ that I do take desks when they become free. Which I do on occasion, but only after using the resources that everyone has access to, to find out if they gave become free, i.e. checking for emails releasing desks or the team calendar for any changes to people’s time in the office. I don’t have any inside information or psychic abilities, just the initiative to check! So I have been told to stop doing that to ‘protect’ myself from further hatred.

Anything else… don’t think so – that is enough.

One good thing though: overhearing girl left today as her contract ended. Whoop! (Though that does mean no access to her account so no future knowledge of meanness, though doubt there would be more after the mess they got into this time!)

So maybe they will back off a bit now, or they’ll hate me even more but I won’t know about it. As I said to my manager: I’ve not lost any friends.

*****

On Wednesday I was working at home and we had new smart meters fitted in the cellar. While that was happening I heard someone next door so when they went to leave I nabbed him and asked if I could have the details of the owner as it would be good to have them. He said he didn’t have them and was just the maintenance man. He didn’t speak the best English and seemed confused so I let it go but he said a family was moving in that night.

This led me to then spend the rest of the afternoon in some sorry of stressed trance worrying about the house next door. I knew I had things to do, things I could do, but all I could do was sit, stare at the TV and think about next door.

I knew it was stupid, I knew there was no problem – I even told myself out loud I was being silly and that we have had no problems with people next door, but I couldn’t shake off the anxiety.

In the end I went for a run to meet Adam off the train which helped a bit, and then we went to my Dad’s to watch the football (and play with Albert the poodle) which was a distraction. Once home, and seeing they were moved in, I then felt fine.

We have since met them, spoken to them and existed with the constant noises that having 4 children in the house brings. It is all fine. so what is worth the freaking out!?

*****

Christmas for me has, since becoming an adult, been a time of stress and worry.
When I was growing up it was fun: decorating the tree, wrapping presents, peeling potatoes etc. There was always the chance of a massive argument but then that was often in my house.

As a younger adult I always returned home from Uni/wherever I was living and just had to try and prevent the arguments from happening, but as my sister started having children in less than ideal circumstances and seemed to shoot a lot, it was always going to happen.

As an older adult, and since my Mum moved out of the family home, there is now less chance of arguments but more of a stress in trying to work out who to see; where to go and when.

We have been alternating between family homes since I met Adam. My Mum left just after a my-turn Christmas, so that year my Dad was to be on his own for the first time, unless my sister came up with the kids (she literally lives a 2-min drive away). She didn’t turn up. She also announced, a day or two before that she was pregnant with her third.

That wasn’t a great Christmas.

The next year we were at my Dad’s. We had just bought a house back near where I grew up and we moved in a week before Christmas. The day before we moved, my Dad found out he had some tumours in his bowel and liver. We didn’t know how bad this was/could be and so freaked out a bit.

On moving day I had both parents back together helping us pack vans/cars and move us in.  My Dad asked my Mum if she wanted to come to Christmas dinner and because of the recent revelations, I don’t think she could have declined. (She later told me she would rather not have done as it would feel weird/awkward. I assume this would be because she would be going back to her house after 2 years.)

We actually had a good Christmas that year: everyone was on best behaviour due to the news and I just enjoyed everyone being together one last time for Christmas.

The next year we were at Adam’s and once again my sister didn’t turn up at my Dad’s.

I always tell him that it doesn’t matter what day it is, that Boxing Day can be the same, but it isn’t really, it’s it.

He understands that I can’t be there every year, but I don’t think he understands why my sister can’t get up there to see him. I can’t understand it.

We are going to see my Mum on Christmas Eve this year, but as I said it to her I could feel a bit of a sadness/uupsetness (if that is a word). I used to think that as she is the one who moved out then she’ll be ok with the slightly lesser option (can’t find the right words). But that isn’t right.  I just can’t see everyone in one day.  Well I could but it may be difficult/more stressful.

The only thing I can think of doing is asking if Amy can go visit Mum on the day. Then everyone has someone for a bit. (No tears right now… nope.)

I could all I guess but even then she may not turn up.  Oh, and she is now expecting her fourth child by the way…

Got to love this time of year!

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